'Akilisi Pohiva, Dr. Sitiveni Halapua, the reconstruction and mice of Nuku'alofa, and pity the All Blacks

The de facto leader of the opposition 'Akilisi Pohiva and his de facto deputy Dr. Sitiveni Halapua have been appointed to look into the state of the money borrowed from the People's Republic of China and how it has been spent in the reconstruction of Nuku'alofa. As elected politicians are notorious for self-promotion, it would be a disaster if their report would be replete with references to letters and petitions written by Mr. Pohiva in the past or articles in the Kele'a, the newspaper he founded. If you are not convinced, just look at the appendices in the submissions to parliament by the opposition. But as the loan is being rapidly depleted, the mice of the central business district are fast becoming the fittest rodents in the world. Restricted to exercising and racing in the Uata Building since its opening in 1981, the mice now can choose between the Royco Building, the Lalita Building, or the taller and grander O G Sanft Building and Taumoepeau Building, where whole floors are available for mice-sprint, mice-aerobics, mice-cartwheels, and mice-banquets, courtesy of the loan from the PRC. For the really, really adventurous there is the extension to the heavily guarded Royal Palace, which cost millions. Then there is always the mini-racetrack also called the Tonga Rugby Football Union's trophy cabinet which is perenially devoid of any silverware. Tongan players have however exploited other facets of the competitions they were involved in. At the recent Commonwealth Games, Tonga's rugby sevens team was a disappointment but they made up for it in the dining hall where, according to the Kakalu newspaper, they ate and ate so much food that they returned home heavier than when they left. But those are amateurs, Tonga's team for the Rugby World Cup is a professional outfit and they will be in Auckland on September 2011 to break the will of the All Blacks and the hearts of all Aotearoa from Cape Reinga to Invercargill. Beware New Zealand!! The Tongans are coming!!!     

Tonga's police commissioner return to New Zealand; Tongan solutions to problems

On the evening of 16 November 2006 in Nuku'alofa, two brothers from the family that owned the Taumoepeau Building watched nervously as fire engulfed the Molisi Tonga store next door. Also watching were firemen who said that a fire engine parked nearby is full of water. But as flames started to flicker on the edge of the roof facing Molisi the firemen made no move to hose it down. The appointment of Chris Kelley as police commissioner was still two years away or we would have known definitively what they were saving the water for or if there was water at all in the fire engine. An HSBC Bank advertisement emphasizes that local knowledge is invaluable. And a key fact that Kelley should have learned from day one is that the Friendly Islands Human Rights and Democracy Movement is not a human rights organization. There are things in this country that can only be understood in that context. Unfortunately Kelley's days as police commissioner ends this Friday. Today the Minister of Police tried to rationalize the government's decision not to renew Kelley's contract and failed miserably. The honour for the most comical decision however belongs to the Tonga Water Board. To counter a rising tide of complaints from water consumers the TWB hired a public relations officer. These are engineering problems that need engineering solutions. Another problem that is not tackled is the bastardization of the Tongan language. The use of pidgin Tongan is on the ascendancy and one of the worst offenders is the Ministry of Education, Women Affairs and CULTURE. A new Miss Heilala was crowned last week; and a heartening and positive development is that those judging the talent contest in the pageant now include dancers, singers and artists. The principal judge in another year was a fresh diplomat from NZ whose previous career was farming, probably dairy. That is not so unusual here. The last general manager of the Tonga Broadcasting Commission came straight from the Ministry of Agriculture where she handled livestock, fertilizers and tractors. A professional farmer might be just what the Talaki newspaper need. Its edition on 25 March 2009 talked of the Catholic church's generosity in letting students from other faiths enter the Australia Pacific Technical College. The Talaki's editor forgot that the APTC is owned by the Australian government.      

Tonga's diplomats,politicians and the late Fineasi Funaki

Most of Tonga's senior diplomats have one thing in common; they are former military-men. Here they are: Tonga's ambassador to the People's Republic of China, Tonga's ambassador to the United Nations and the US, Tonga's high commissioner to Australia, the CEO of Tonga's Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Tonga's consul general in San Francisco. Only the high commissioners to the UK and New Zealand did not serve in the Tonga Defense Services. The prime minister who heads the government is a former secondary school teacher. The leader of the opposition in parliament is a former primary school teacher. His experience in teaching little children between the ages of 6 and 12 without a doubt stood him in good stead for he has been a member of parliament for 25 years. He however is unable to stem the deterioration in the use of the Tongan language in parliament. As members, especially the younger ones, continue to gratuitously adulterate their speech with English words; probably to impress but makes it hard to understand what actually they are barking about. Communicating in the Tongan language was one of the strengths of the late minister of tourism Fineasi Funaki, himself a former high school teacher. Gifted with a sharp mind Fineasi was often responsible for causing some of the fiercest debates in the legislature; accompanied by the inevitable rise in pitch, in temperature and in the blood pressures of his opponents. Another area in which Fineasi excelled was his defense of human rights; in particular, the rights of minorities and religious freedom. His passing last year was a huge loss to human rights, i.e. to genuine human rights, here in Tonga.

Tonga's costly civil service payrise; wet dreamers; and deputy PM behaves during NZ foreign minister's visit

Dr. Sitiveni Halapua, a member of parliament, admitted last week that the settlement he helped negotiate in 2005 between the Tongan government and striking civil servants was economically unsound. The superintendent of prisons complained to Radio Tonga News that he has not enough money to run the prisons. Of his department's T$2.1 million budget, sixty percent of which will be spent on wages and salaries. That is the net result of the 60%, 70%, 80% pay rise. But, according to Dr. Halapua, he did it for peace. What peace? One year on and a much bigger crowd assembled on the same spot and tried to hold the government to ransom. Quite a number of familiar faces from the previous year, many from the Friendly Islands Human Rights and Democracy Movement, were there. When their demands were not met, they started burning the Chinese-owned businesses. In her speech at the Tonga Broadcating Commission fiftieth anniversary, TBC chairperson Lady 'Eseta Fusitu'a said that the establishment of her organization came about because " a dreamer dreamed the right dream." More often it is the dream or dreams of the advisers to the decision-maker. The problem arises when the advisers dream wet dreams. Aside from the Cabinet members, Tonga's Prime Minister is also advised by three wise men: a former pilot, a former journalist and a town planner. Let us hope they are not whispering fantasies in the PM's ears. Last week NZ foreign minister Murray McCully visited and was seen listening attentively to Tonga deputy PM Samiu Vaipulu. This was worrying to some as there was a petition against him three months ago alleging that Vaipulu showered kava drinkers in Neiafu with expletives one evening; then went to a nearby village where he tried unsuccessfully to solicit a kiss from a girl who was serving kava.there. In front of Mr. McCully however and to everyone's relief Vaipulu behaved honourably and did not do either.  

Tonga broadcasting Commission turns fifty and the managers of state-owned enterprises

Last week the Tonga Broadcasting Commission celebrated its fiftieth anniversary. At the commemorative dinner TBC chairperson Lady 'Eseta Fusitu'a paid tribute to her predecessors then thanked Prime Minister Tu'ivakano for appointing her to this lofty position; in fact the first woman to head a state-owned enterprise. But as is the fashion here Lady 'Eseta in her moment of fame and happiness indulged herself in a Tongan dialect that consists of standard Tongan littered with English words, English phrases and even whole English sentences. In short pidgin Tongan. It seems odd that the lingua franca of the once far-flung Tu'i Tonga empire is now considered unfit to express happiness in. Thankfully TBC general manager Nanise Fifita did not forget her mother tongue throughout her brief and eloquent speech. But Nanise is a journalist through and through; just as Mr. Timote Katoanga, the managing director of the government-owned Tonga Communications Corporation, is the quintessential telecommunication engineer. How come then that the general manager of the Tonga Water Board is a geologist in a field where the expertise of a civil engineer or a chemical engineer or a public health engineer, is required. It is not unusual to find two long queues in the TWB office, one for paying bills and the other for filing complaints. That's not quite a surprise isn't it? It is not just engineers, often confused with motor mechanics and electricians, who are slighted; most models on television ads and on billboards are Fijians. What is wrong with hiring Tongan models?

Tonga's parliament picked on the country's Chinese community

Tonga's parliament turned racist on Monday 27 June 2011. 'Akilisi Pohiva, secretary of the Friendly Islands Human Rights and Democracy Movement, wanted the Minister of Labour to make the Chinese store owners hire Tongan shop assistants in place of employing Chinese labourers that they bring over. The Minister replied that he has asked the immigration department to let the Ministry of Labour decide which applicants gets a work permit. The Minister and his staff should be very busy with their own workload and they are not trained to deal with immigration matters. The potential for abuse is very much there especially in exchange for financial and sexual favours. I am not suggesting that the Minister and his CEO are eyeing this negative but profitable side of issuing visas. One member of parliament complained to the Labour Minister that Chinese shops sometimes raise the price of mutton flabs. The Minister warmed to the idea of controlling the price of this piece of fat. Another member wanted the Minister to acquaint the Chinese business owners with our customs and practices. Funnily the Tongan adherents of the Jehovah Witness faith do not even observe some of our own cultures and traditions. But Radio Australia's Bruce Hill, who appears to subscribe to this nonsense, would be delighted to interview the MP. Tonga's Minister of Finance contributed to the debate or rather the Chinese bashing exercise by telling the House that there used to be six Chinese-owned shops in his constituency of 'Eua, now there are only three. Two days after this orgy the Deputy Prime Minister warned members of the consequences of what they say in parliament; according to him, a rock was thrown the night before at a truck, used by Chinese nationals who are building roads here, breaking the windscreen.